Posted by Sue Landsman on Jan.26, 2009

Most of us are pretty anal-retentive these days about purchasing anything. We check Consumer Reports, Amazon reviews, we do Google searches and ask all our friends what they think. But when it comes to childbirth, women don’t often shop around with the same intensity. But they should. Whether you’re picking a hospital, a childbirth class, or an alternative birth place, you should be checking out your options and figuring out what works best for you.

When I was pregnant with my first child, my OB told me not to worry too much about where to give birth; since it was such a small amount of time in the whole process it just didn’t matter much. But if that was true, how come you could talk to 80-year old women and they’d be able to tell you in great detail about their children’s births many many decades ago? How could it not matter?

Think about your values and wishes for your birth. There are many options available to you, and most women don’t really know what they can do short of going to the nearest hospital. It’s also important to remember that giving birth isn’t entirely a medical matter — the “touch-feely” considerations like whether you prefer a white room or a colorfully decorated room are just as important. It’s not just about the baby; it’s about you, and what makes you comfortable and more likely to have a good experience. Because, oddly, giving birth isn’t just something to be gotten over with. It is likely to be one of the most memorable experiences of your life, and it can be truly wonderful, not just bearable.

You can actually learn quite a bit from talking to women of different ages, from different places. Ask people their birth stories, and think about what made those experiences what they were. Think about the following:

• How do you feel about them
• Would you do anything differently?
• What details did people remember?
• What did people find important?
• What did they think would matter to them but didn’t?
• What did they wish they had done?

Your primary choices will relate to choosing a birth place, choosing a birth team, and choosing your childbirth classes. Do you want a hospital, a birth center, or a home birth? Do you want a doctor or a midwife? Do you want to attend hospital classes or an independent type? Shop around and ask questions. Think about what you want for your childbirth and what you know or don’t know about labor and birth. Do you even know what your choices and options are?

When I took a tour of the hospital before my first child was born, a well-meaning nurse told me about the main anesthetic option available to me — delivered via a charming shot in the posterior. “It’s just like a glass of wine,” she said. Apparently I was the first person who’d ever said “Can’t I just have a glass of wine then?” Unfortunately that wasn’t standard hospital policy, but I ran into many other situations where asking what my alternatives were suddenly made those alternatives appear. I learned fast that many of the choices available to me would not even be offered if I didn’t either know to ask about them or wasn’t just willing to be difficult and ask a lot of questions.

The biggest reason for looking at things as a consumer is that you may suddenly realize that not everything being offered you is something you want. If you’re a terrified mom-to-be, it’s easy to just do what everyone else is doing, or take whatever suggestion is offered to you. Standing back a little and thinking of yourself as shopping for a product or as a consumer of a service helps you focus on your own preferences and responses.

Myself, I was more afraid of needles than pain, so I chose a natural birth. It ended up being such a wonderful experience that I started teaching natural childbirth classes. We gave birth at a hospital, where the wonderful-looking private shower that seemed such a great idea turned out to be the biggest flub of the whole experience: I’m short, so the water just poured right into my face, and there was no fan so the room quickly filled with steam and it became difficult to breathe. Oh well!

Between classes, birthplaces, and practitioners, you have many decisions to make! Don’t feel overwhelmed though. Even though the choices can seem life-altering and paralyzingly important, in a way it’s the same thing as choosing a blender: check out your options and see what you like best. Trust yourself. And if you mess up, don’t worry. You can do it again.

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Posted under About Mom, GDM Baby.